Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Created to Be Me

I love the movie "Ever After."  It is a humorous, whimsical retelling of the classic Cinderella story.  Towards the beginning of the movie, Danielle (a.k.a. Cinderella) dresses in rich clothing and poses as a courtier in order to rescue her dear friend and fellow servant who is being sold into slavery to pay for taxes owed by Danielle's wicked stepmother.  This is, of course, when she meets the prince, who soon falls head over heels in love with her.  When the stepmother discovers that Danielle has captured the Prince's heart and that her own daughter has lost her chance to become a princess, she exposes Danielle's deception and the prince abandons her.  He soon realizes that his love extends beyond social classification and rescues her from her bleak existence.  When he comes to profess his love for her, Danielle tells him something along the lines of, "I'm only a servant who dressed in nice clothes and pretended to be a courtier to save a friend."

I, like Danielle, am often guilty of pretending to be someone that I am not.  I want to be so many things, but God simply didn't design me that way!  The trick is learning who God DID design me to be, and not being afraid of it.  

For instance, my husband and I are in the process of redecorating our 85 year old home that we just moved into.  I want it to be beautiful and inviting and perfectly coordinated.  But I'm not an interior designer by any stretch of the imagination.  No matter how hard I try, I don't have the ability to envision a room and know what it takes to create it.  So I have to trust the people close to me whom God HAS given that gift to.  Which takes an incredible amount of self control on my part.

I have also come to terms with the fact that I am not a housekeeper.  No matter how hard I try, I will never be good at keeping my home spotless and clutter free.  My husband and I are both clutter bugs.  Add four young children to the mix and you can only imagine the mess!  Don't get me wrong, my home is not filthy.  It's just not picture perfect.  I like to call it "lived in."  Which, I guess, means it is loved.

I have such a hard time not comparing myself to other women.  I want to write like her.  I want to look like her.  I wish I could sing like that woman.  I wish my parenting style was more like hers.  But I don't, and I can't, and it isn't.  But I do write the way I was created to write.  I look the way God created me to look.  I sing with the voice God gave me.  And while my parenting style can be adapted and changed with very purposeful effort, I am the mother that God chose for my children.  I am ME, and I have nothing to be ashamed of.  According to Psalm 139:14 I am "fearfully and wonderfully made."  If God made me to be wonderful, then I must be!

I will, of course, continue to try to improve myself.  I will continue trying to rid my home of it's never-ending clutter, I will keep working away on the elliptical machine and counting calories, and I will always be looking for ways to become a better parent and wife.  But I will not be ashamed of who I am; I will not be afraid of the woman God created me to be.  And I will not pretend to be someone I am not.  I will trust that people will love and accept me the way I am.  Because the real thing is always much more love-able than an imitation.

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